THE BOOK - and cheesecake

Well, the weekend has just been DOMINATED by that book. I took it in to work on Friday and people kept wandering casually up to my desk and leafing through it, and then wondering, in an off-hand way, if they could borrow it. (I said No, as I knew I’d never see it again.) Then all weekend people kept dropping in to read it. The two Japanese girls got engrossed in it on Sunday, after appearing (with Mirabelle, who had escaped again, this time to their flat, because they have a sun-roof thingy and she loves basking in it.)
It’s engrossing not just because - as Topiary said, it is based on honest research, rather than just the stupid opinion of some self-appointed guru – but because everyone who reads it seems to have a story that backs it up. I was discussing it in the deli, esp the bit that says if you want to get married you HAVE to have a particular serious conversation telling your man that you do, and the woman behind the counter, Pixie, said that that was exactly how she got married. She had a long-live in relationship that went bad, having had two kids by the guy. And then she met her present husband, and really liked him. And one day, when they were in bed – yet another proposal-situation that happened when both people were naked – she summoned up all her courage and said to him that she really really loved him etc but she’d already tried living with someone and that hadn’t worked out, so this time it was marriage or nothing, and if he didn’t want to commit she’d have to end things. And then she felt so ashamed and self-conscious she pulled the duvet over her head and hid. And after about five minutes she poked her head back out and he was sitting up, smiling, and he said ‘I’m still here!’ and that was that.
We were smiling and laughing about this, and I was trying to choose between two low-fat cheesecakes (lemon or mango) when her husb appeared. And guess what! He was fat and bald! But in a very nice, attractive way.
This morning, two men have come casually up to my desk to leaf through THE BOOK. So word is getting round.

GoodbyeToAllGooeyCakes - Probably

What an amazing book that is, that Topiary recommended! It’s called ‘Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others, and basically, it tells you what you have to do to get married. Especially if you are getting on a bit. The advice could be boiled down to:
1)Diet until you are around size 10
2)Put makeup on and groom yourself
3)Wear nice (not tarty) clothes
4)Be a very nice person
5) Spend all your free time going where men are
6) When you find a man (and you have to be prepared to accept balding, fat guys) determine whether he is a serial non-committer or not. If he is, dump him and find someone better
7) After you’ve get into nice relationship with this balding fattie, make it very clear that you want to marry him desperately and are expecting a proposal. If you don’t get it, dump him and…etc.
I never realised you had to try that hard. But I suppose it’s obvious that you do. I immediately got Rachel and Jasmine to read it, and we’re all now practising ‘looking pleasant’ (you have to look as if you are just about to smile)(No grinning madly). And you’re also supposed to walk about with rolled-up washcloths on your shoulders, to get a nicely erect posture.
Anyway it is just amazing, and everything in it is backed up by reams of research. I just wish it wasn’t ESSENTIAL to lose all that weight.