Well, it’s very hard to see how the thing with Michael is going to progress. I was discussing it with Jasmine just now during chocolate-time (strawberry shortcake), and she said that she knows Michael is going to a private view next week and I ought to go too (she can get me an invite), and sort of be in the crowd, being mysterious, friendly and distant, so he can come up and say hello if he likes.
I thought he might think I was STALKING him. She said, no, if I’m there, too, it will just seem like I’m one of the in-crowd, and have very much the same interests as him.. The other problems are: I don’t really want to buy another new outfit on my credit card. (I can’t fit into any of my existing great outfits until this tomato sandwich diet starts working properly.) (And I just ate some strawberry shortcake because the colours were similar to a tomato sandwich and also I couldn’t resist.) (So possibly the diet won’t work today.)
Also, how hard does one have to try, to catch a (to be honest) not terribly attractive rich guy? Jasmine says there’s a whole art to catching a millionaire, and you can buy books on it etc. And it’s really well worth doing because if you manage to marry them, even for, say a year, you are set up for life. (Although, I do think this is the wrong way to think, and one ought to be romantic, too.)
Oh, and she also said she was a bit worried about Glenn as she hasn’t heard from him lately. He said he’d ring her when he finished being at Glastonbury, but he hasn’t. She’s worried he’s ill and passed out in a hedge somewhere.
10 comments:
You seem to be too porky to be a high class hooker but this is clearly your intention. By the way do you do anything else other than eating and boring everyone senseless with your self-centred whale blubbering rubbish blog.
I bet you are the kind of girl that men go crazy about. The kind of girl who men look at on public transport. I am so fat and elderly that the staff in ASDA don't even look me in the eye.
Dear Anonymous, well I think the closest I would ever get to being a high class hooker would be to be Julia Roberts in 'Pretty Woman'. That was Ok, wasn't it? Though I wouldn't like to have to sleep with too many people before Richard Gere.
As to your other question, I hold down a (fairly)important job in PR and I look after a kitten - among other things. And I can't help it if i have eating issues. A lot of other women, do, too. Love scones
Dear chunkyandfriendless, I'm not really the sort of girl men go crazy about. (Except, perhaps, for Glenn. And I was never sure whether he was just sort of teasing me, there.) Men do sort of like me, and often shout things at me in the street.And when they get to know me they seem to want to go out with me. So I guess I've got 'personality' or am 'bubbly' or whatever the euphemism is for being a bit plump but OK. I'm sure if you just lost a bit of weight you'd be the same as me. (And obviously, if we both lost more weight we'd get as much attention as The Woo, and get extravagant compliments lavished on us in the street.) Love scones
Good heavens, who is this man Anonymous? Is he someone known to you? He sounds very bitter. I see him with an enormous moustache playing an amateurish game of ping-pong in a darkened room with two boys he describes as "nephews", but then again I have been drinking Cuvee R Lalou all day and my creative visualisation is on overdrive.
And who is Chunkyandfriendless? I feel as if I could cry. What is ASDA? Cordially etc
Dear Mrs Pouncer, well I appreciate your insight. For a long while now Anonymous has been leaving grumpy messages on my site, and I do wonder, like you, who he is. Maybe he does have a moustache, as you say. And he keeps complaining about how pointless my blog is, but if so, why does he persist in reading it and commenting on it so irritably? Sometimes I worry that he might be SOMEONE I KNOW. Do you think this is possible?
Love scones x
Good heavens. You don't think it could be Glenn, do you? I have taken the liberty of looking over all your posts so that I may gauge the level of this man's animosity. It is most perplexing, for in some comments he is quite genial; but in others we see his angry side. The other thing that strikes me is this: could "he" be a rather mannish woman? Do you know anyone like that?
Topiary has been fighting her way out of a particularly prickly hedge and apologizes for the delay in posting to your most intriguing development.
Cow agrees with Mrs. Pouncer. She doesn't get the whole anonymouse thing, except to posit that he is in fact an anonymous mouse...
As for the private view next week, and trying to look like you're in with his crowd, Cow suggests a moovie on snaring a rich guy:
Rene Russo and Pierce Brosnan in the Thomas Crown Affair. Cow thinks you should err on the side of mysterious and alluring, like Rene.
Alas, Cow has no answers and thinks, maybe if it will be fun and there's any possibility of meeting others, go whether M is there or not and if he talks to you, ok, if not, maybe you can meet somebody else.
Moo!
Dear Mrs Pouncer, that's an interesting (and horrible) idea, that Anonymous could be Glenn. I don't really think of Glenn as being too bright,though, and Anonymous seems quite sharp. You are right, too, that there is an odd bisexual quality to Anonymous so he could be a mannish woman or a waspish, girly man.The trouble with the internet is everyone is in disguise. It's sort of like a masked ball, and you have to guess what everyone is really like underneath. Love from scones
Dear Topiary, it's so nice to hear from you again! Yes, it's a good idea for me to go to the private view and be chic and cool and mysterious like Rene Russo. (I really liked her clothes in that film. And they'd be quite suitable for this wet, cold summer.)Love from scones
I cannot bear anonymous posters who waste energies on leaving nasty messages. They ought to be making cakes or cuddling kitties; surely a much more constructive way of spending one's short time on this earth?
(Mind you, I was getting some rather awful comments on Facebook myself, and thought 'hang on, these people are suppose to be my FRIENDS'. I think I know who did it, and I haven't defriended them. Yet)
Dear Clair, how horrible about the Facebook comments! They really must be people who know you, then. That's awful.At least with my anonymouses (and various oddly-named, scarcely-believable people who post) I can half-pretend to myself that they don't know me. I always think that's what the internet is like: you go out there, and sometimes you get lovely friendly comments, like yours, and sometimes scary nasty ones. A bit like walking in the street, really, Love scones xx
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