I was eating my potato salad and rye bread sandwich at my desk yesterday when J came up and said she wanted to talk. (Oh, by the way, I am so fed up with potato salad now. The Woo said you shouldn’t have stuff you like to eat at home, and I’ve always hated Batteburg cake – too sugary, fake almond taste – so I’m going to substitute Battenburg for potato salad from now on.)
J sat on the edge of my desk and said that she really wanted me to give Glenn another chance. She said he was her cousin and had been going through a really serious depression since he split up from his girlfriend. (It wasn’t a marriage – just a long relationship. She said, surely it was good, that he was capable of a long relationship?) He normally lives in the country, in Cornwall, but he came to stay with J because he was so desperate and her family were worried about him, and he’s been in her flat for two weeks now. She says he’s so depressed he sleeps all day, and she comes back to find he’s boiled up smelly fish stews and ponged the place up. Anyhoo, turns out he was so excited about meeting me that he washed his hair for the first time in about three months and went to lots of trouble, and he’s sort of in decline, now. Oh, and he used up all his money on the pink champagne so it would have to be a cheap date, like a picnic in the park.
I really wasn’t at all sure about this, but she said if I agree to see him over the bank holiday she’ll set up for me to meet Michael on Saturday, when he’s giving a party at his house in Chelsea. And after all, it’s not like I have to REALLY go out with Glenn, just sort of be friendly and let him down gently.
4 comments:
This is a bad idea on so many levels...unless of course you are a mental health practitioner and needing to take on non-paying clients.
This broke guy with no personal hygiene doesn't need a date with you, he needs mental health help with a professional.
And as for J, she's blackmailing you into a date by making you feel guilty at his suffering? Geeze. What next, she'll guilt you into letting him moooove in with you so she can be rid of him and his smelly fish stews?
Cow thinks you should give J a wide berth and her mentally-ill cousin an even wider pass.
Just mooing softly here...
Dear Topiary, it is so kind of you to go to the trouble of advising me! It is difficult, though, because I work with J and have to stay on good terms with her, and she is a nice person anyway. And she is terribly worried about her cousin.So I can't really give her a completely wide berth. I woke up with a headache this morning because I had been fretting about it. Anyhoo, it is a comfort to know someone else is thinking of me! Have a lovely weekend, love from scones xx
(Cow quickly erecting a fence to donate to Scones)
Cow thinks if you must, you can let him in the yard, along with this pesky J. But they're only allowed to graze on their side of the fence.
And certainly no fish stews.
Moo!
Dear Topiary, I'm going to be as standoffish as possible, while being perfectly friendly. Also I'm hoping it will rain, so the picnic will be cancelled. Love scones x
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