Went out to drinking last night with Jasmine, who has got a new, ageing Goth boyfriend. (It was the Intrepid Fox, a truly scary place. I am never going to the toilets there again, NEVER. ) One good thing was, I discovered all kinds of strange side-effects of the credit-squeeze. Her boyf does French polishing for very very rich people. (He is always having to rush out on French polishing emergencies, that is, some stupidly rich person will accidentally scratch a side table, and a neighbour is coming round! Oh No! Quick! Ring up a French-polisher and bribe them a thousand quid to come round immediately!) For the last month he has had NO WORK AT ALL. None. So, clearly, you have to be ludicrously stupidly rich to be unaffected by the squeeze. Stupidly rich isn’t good enough any more.
And one of the reasons why our firm is in trouble is that we represent a yoghourt brand that people drink to improve their stomach bacteria or something. (It made me make terrible, unforgivable farting noises, like a rapidly deflating balloon, when I tried it, so I never did again. NOT glamorous.) And apparently, when people are feeling the squeeze they stop eating special yoghourts. I wonder what the last things they give up are? The consensus last night was that they might be lipstick and chocolate.
6 comments:
I have often wondered what it is that give the choristers such rancid flatulence. Now I see you are to blame!
Hello Can Bass, very nice to hear from you. Yes, it is a terrible price to pay for a healthy intestinal system. Especially since everyone else around you suffers, too. So there will certainly be less ill wind around (among health-conscious middle-class people) during the recession. I'm glad your chorister stalls will be nicer to be in, too, Love from scones xx
Dearie me. French polishers out of work, eh?
What a harbinger of hard times to come. Cow sadly agrees that perhaps the bacteria-friendly-yoghourt will be next to go.
Unless, perhaps, it could magically be found to remove scratches from tables?
Moo!
Dear Topiary,it is strange what is doing well in the squeeze and what isn't. For instance, apparently people are eating tons of turnips, just because they are cheap. (I won't be eating them.)
Love from scones xx
Turnips?
Cow will also pass. Perhaps now is the time to enter the booming field of Topiary Trimming though!
Moo!
Dear Topiary, well it is very nice to hear that topiary might do well in the squeeze. Nothing else is. I was v dpressed to hear some of my favourite shops: Karen Millen, Principles and Oasis, are likely to go bust, since they are funded by Icelandic banks (also going bust). Still, I suppose I may get some sale bargains... Love from scones xxx
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