Right. I’ve just got details of the Woo’s diet, and I’m going to follow it. The essentials are: ‘Don’t keep food in the house’ ‘Don’t buy anything interesting for yourself to eat’. The Woo says that, for instance, last night she had a tablespoonful of potato salad and some rye bread.
Possibly I could just eat cat-food. Old people do that, don’t they? And they’re thin.
Am just going to buy potato salad and rye bread from now on.
The truly excellent thing about the Woo Diet is that you can eat anything you like while you’re out. So I shall be going out. A lot.
6 comments:
But...but...but....
Isn't eating out subjecting yourself to the greasiest fatty food in the universe, served in the biggest portions, and overcharged for?
(Cow stealing some carrots from Bunny)
Of course Cows are naturally svelte and don't know about such things as diets.
Moo!
Hey, who took my carrots?
It wouldn't happen to be that (utters fatal words)Fat Cow, would it?
(Bunny fleeing for life)
Hip-hip-hippity!
Dear Topiary Cow and Topiarist Bunny, I know it seems illogical that this diet should work, but look how slim the Woo has got!
And anyway, everyone knows diets are not simple and straightforward. Like, I've hardly eaten ANYTHING for the last three weeks and I've been walking everywhere, and I've had lots more to do, what with the kitten, and I've actually GAINED five pounds. My trousers keep shooting off their buttons. So I've got to try this diet. Love from scones xxx
Five pounds? That is indeed desperation time...
Cow now understands your need for the Woo diet and hopes your wallet can withstand the strain.
Moo-woo!
Dear "Scones with Jam and Cream"
Firstly thanks for dropping by my blog. Secondly, fantastic news that you have scooped the lowdown on The Woo's dieting secrets, before she has even published them on her own blog!
I agree that keeping very little food in the house sounds like a good idea. You just have to be careful when you eat out to pick the right thing.
I think The Woo could be on to something here. Roll over Rosemary Conley, I see a new weight loss guru on the horizon!
Best wishes
Sharon
Dear Topiary, glad you can see how truly desperate the situation is, love from sconesxx
Dear Goodbyetoallfat, thank you so much for dropping by. I thought your blog was wonderful. I loved that description of your family life. You should write a book about your life!
I'll keep you posted on how the Woo's diet works. I don't think she told me the whole diet, just a sort of taster of what it's like. Have a lovely evening, love scones x
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