Monday 16 June 2008

Close Encounters of the Puzzling Kind



Jo rang and asked if she could come over at the weekend, and we went off shopping together. I got some gladiator sandals – odd, really as they don’t do much for my body (or my feet) but they are comfy (always good – and certainly a startlingly new feeling for MY shoes). But as they are fashionable, they make quite a lot of my clothes suddenly work in a way they didn’t before. Still, I’m not sure yet whether I’ll keep or return them.
Anyhoo, while we were rustling about with shopping bags, and having iced lattes, Jo told me another jaw-dropping thing about her sex-life. She has NEVER EVER COME. It really made me wonder about the mechanics of her encounters with Martyn. I mean, how do you decide to stop having sex if neither of you come? Do you just turn to each other and say: ‘It’s been half an hour now, shall we stop – and have some chocolate cake?’ Jo said, when I finally got the nerve up to ask her, that she just makes a sort of special noise, to imply that she’s very happy, and then Martyn slowly finishes. But it is really strange, don’t you think? I’ve been unable to stop thinking about it all morning.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's, ermmmm, amusing in a way.

First you did "the man who can't" post and now we find out his partner is "the woman who can't".

Ideally suited, I would say!

scones with jam and cream said...

Dear Goodbyetoallfat, I suppose they are better suited than I'd thought, but it still is a very very strange way to have sex. Completely joyless. You wonder why they bother, really. Also, how are they going to have children - if they decide they want them? Love scones x

The Topiary Cow said...

From what she's heard, it would be a good idea for these two not to procreate.
Just saying.
Moo!

scones with jam and cream said...

Dear Topiary, you are so right!!
Love scones x